Where is God? I've got him
Jon Ord, Age 16

I have God tied up in my basement
I have tied him up using ordinary string
I have tied him to an ordinary chair
Doesn’t seem so great now, does he?

Never mind why I have him.
If he got himself into this mess,
Don’t you think a great lord could get out?

If you ever want to see God again
Send me £100 000 in an unmarked bag
Or alternatively
£5 a viewing
£10 a picture
£50 a punch!