Vacancy:
Daniel Pickering, age 15

Recently due to high demand we have a full time vacancy to fill.
You would be working in a busy office in the ever-local town of Heaven.

Good communication skills are essential, as you will be helping with believers’ questions
and queries.
A prefect candidate would be enthusiastic and self motivated in order to achieve
good standards constantly.
Although experience is not necessary you should be able to learn quickly and have a
‘can do’ attitude towards your work!
Also you should be prepared to take the blame for every single bad thing that ever
happens in the world.

Daily tasks would include deciding when people will die, writing life plans for every
newborn baby, listening to and answering millions of prayers daily, therefore
switchboard skills would be and advantage.
In general you must be omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent.
You should also be able to use general office equipment.
Please be aware that this is a very ‘hands on’ position so you should be able to work
well under pressure and be able to make educated decisions fast.
Qualifications required are; at least 5 GCSEs (A-C) including Science, English and
Religious Studies.

If you feel you have what it takes to be a good God, please send your CV and
covering letter through your prayers or email Matthew at
matthewhr@thegospels.co.he